I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
