eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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