R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
