ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
