I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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