they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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