Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
