in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
