Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
