The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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