I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
