There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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