You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Randomize
