HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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