would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
