I want to walk on stilts...naked
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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