i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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