I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
