My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
