ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
