Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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