dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Terrible idea I love it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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