Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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