He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Randomize
