The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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