y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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