Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
