She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
