I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize