my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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