I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
