His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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