Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize