I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
