Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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