i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
