they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Let's get the cat blown out
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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