party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
my poor anus
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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