Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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