I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
