what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
