Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Randomize