you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize