What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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