Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
