im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
