So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
