I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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