She is in my trunk
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm bleeding and have questions
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
