Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
