At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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