I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
