So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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