that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
