I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
