My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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