am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
