Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
