its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
