You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
