another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
two words...techno handjob
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
